Navy Familes

I am not a Navy wife, girlfriend, daughter or Mother. But, I was in the presence of them recently as they said goodbye to their loved ones. I was in awe of these women and children as they gathered around for a final picnic (for now) together. Sticking close to each other sharing stories, taking pictures, grabbing quick kisses, longing glances, special hugs and soft touches that will have to last them until they get to see each other again. What I didn't see was any resentment or anger at the men for leaving them behind for so long. No arguments about staying too late at work or saying why me I'm being left here to carry on alone. They understand even though they might not like it how important the job is these men are being sent out to do.


These women and children are amazing, the sacrifices they make just astound me. They take care of everything while these men are gone. The house, the bills, the children and some while keeping a job too with little thanks and yet there they stood on that pier. Standing tall waving as their loved ones pulled away wiping a tear staying strong for the little ones.

I can't tell you how proud I was of my daughter that day, how proud I was of all of those women there. They say the men going out to war are hero's and I agree. But after being on that pier that day I consider these women real hero's too!

I didn't include myself in the beginning of this story because I have not yet become one of the women I have described above. The standards are high and I can't even stand on the pier without breaking down. I hope one day I will have half my daughters strength and be lucky enough to meet more of the women she has become friends with. Until then I will be working on my Navy Mother-in-law status.

Be safe all you men ... and to you women I hope this underway goes quickly and that your days go smoothly... it was an honor to meet you!

BBC "House Rules" Week 3

Week 3 prompt: What do you think of the competency hearing? After hearing what happened in the other trial (the Bean case) did it change your feelings about how the hearing went?

That competency hearing was a joke! They had no idea what they were doing with a child like Jacob nor were they interested in finding out either! They should have been able to tell by his behavior that he was not a normal adult. They didn't notice the lack of eye contact, the rocking, the flapping? After hearing about the Bean case it terrified me that our court systems could be this incompetent! It didn't surprise me it saddened me that there would be no other outcome for him. What is even worse it took them 3 days to almost undo what it took her 15 yrs to do bring him back to this world and they were all willing to look the other way.

This is what terrifies me, my son is not violent he is a teddy bear anyone that knows him knows this! But he has Soto Syndrome a type of overgrowth Syndrome. So at 11 developmentally 7 in some areas in some he knows more than some college students. He is 5'7 260lbs in a men's 12 shoe. He will give you hugs and hugs on his terms but you hug him unexpectedly and he will think you are trying to hurt him and can turn raging bull. Put in Jacob's situation without me with him he would have been the same way fighting them screaming reciting movie lines trying to get them to understand him since he doesn't have the right words to use. His lack of social skills hindering his way to a fair trial and a system failing him, to ready to just put him in an institution. Like they were so ready to do when he was 3 and told us we would never get him back and he would be to big for us to control.

Sorry for the ramble but there is one last thing Shane my younger son... I see now through this book how much he truly was pushed to the side by me not intentionally I love him so much but I was concentrating so hard on trying to get Jor back to us that I let him slide. I knew I had a husband and two daughters but that's not an excuse. Would I have done that if I was a single parent without older daughters I don't know. I will now try harder to spend more time with him and hope its not too late.

Can I just say I love the book and I HATE Autism!

BBC "House Rules" Week 2

Week 2 Prompt: In the book Theo talks about how he's scared to have kids and doesn't ever want to have any. Do you feel his feeling are valid?

Sorry I' m a little slow at the posting. I think Theo has had a tough childhood always having to be put to the side for his brothers needs so yes I think his reasons are completely valid.

Living with a brother with autism from what I can see from Shane ( Briana and Nicole were older) is filled with always being second. He has grown up to fast has to defend his brother when others make fun of him. Sees him go off to look for birds when the other kids at the park are asking him to go play tag. At 7 his parents (us) are asking him to try and understand his brother is different when he himself is trying to fit in his brother is embarrassing him and I'm sure he wants to say to us what about me!

Why would Theo want to risk bringing a child into this world that could have this... why would Shane? My hope is that they understand the risks are small, they would risk losing the greatest gift in the world.. a child. I hope I am doing a little bit better of job trying to spend sometime with Shane but then I am not alone in my fight the way Emma is.

This book is excellent but for me I must admit is hitting so close to home its getting harder and harder to read... and yet I can't put it down.

BBC "House Rules" Week 1

Week 1 Prompt:
What are your thought on the vaccination/autism link? If you are a parent, did it make you do things differently with your child (no right or wrong answers here! This is not a debate forum). If you aren't a parent, if you were to have children would this new found research change how you would go about getting your child vaccinated?

My Answers:
From personal experience I had this 18 month old happy, laughing little boy who was always smiling. He loved to be read to was talking would say " I lub you Mum". He loved being outside playing on his slide with his little toes on the grass playing with the other kids. Having such a great time with his sisters and their friends and following Mum and Dad around. He received the MMR vaccine at 18 months and within 2 weeks it was like someone was just pulling him into a different world, one that didn't include us. The smiling stopped, he no longer looked at us anymore. Didn't want to be read to, screamed if we wanted to take him out, the running became a stumbling walk which went back to a crawl. The saddest part was the talking started to disappear and then it was gone... no more I lub you Mum!
Do I think it came from the vaccine...absolutely! Sit in a classroom with the parents of 15 autistic children and 13 of them will tell you this exact same story. My son never received the second dose. My younger son didn't get his MMR till he was 5 when I thought his body was more mature and could handle the medicine. His other vaccines were spaced out. In my opinion vaccines aren't bad it is the way they are given and what they were processed in. We are loading these small babies and children with so many vaccines at one time that so many of the kids systems are simply not able to handle it, and instead of helping them we are doing just the opposite. Sorry for the ramble but as you can see this is something that has effected our family very deeply.

I personally think this book is outstanding. I am the Mother of an 11 yr old autistic child who is also high functioning. Instead of forensics it is animals and dinosaurs. He can name them all where they live what era, what habitat what Continent. Names of dinosaurs that even with the pronunciation I have a hard time saying. He has a photographic memory. It is truly amazing. Take him some place once and he can direct you back there again that you don't need a GPS. But, put him in a room full of people and he falls apart. Too much noise and he will get more and more agitated to a point that he will have that same meltdown Jacob has in the book. People look at him because he looks normal and think he is violent or just stand and stare when he is having a problem bc a child starts screaming or someone starts blaring their music and he can't handle it. What he lives in everyday would be equivalent to us having people flashing a light at us blaring music while 4 people are trying to talk to us and 4 people are touching us. Like Jacob everything is black or white no gray area you tell him no secrets and he will tell everybody everything that happens in our home. lol I hope you guys reading this are getting a better understanding of children like him.

As for Theo reading this book has brought out my greatest fears I try to keep hidden. You spend so much time making the world right for the autistic child that the other sibling gets neglected. You try so hard to make it up to them but trying to take an autistic child to a wrestling match or baseball game is impossible. The guilt Emma feels is enormous I know. She must feel it so much more she has nobody to support her. I have great daughters. I disagree with Emma on letting Jacob have free reign though letting him ruin Theo's Birthday party is not acceptable. I think Theo as with any sibling there has to be some resentment.

I am looking forward to seeing what happens next in the book. Hoping that Jacob has not done something most people will think is terrible but in his limited mind he does not understand fully

Our Puppy Bailey

I almost forgot we pick up our new puppy today at 4:30 in Harrisburg at the airport. We well more like me, I think I am the most excited to get him he is a little pekingese just one day older than Briana's. We are calling him Bailey and he is going to keep me company while I'm stuck in the house till they figure out what's wrong with me. Now Bella has Shane, Toby has Bailey and Jordan has Keith and Louie so the three of us girls can just sit and chat. AS if that is something that would ever really happen. It will be more like the house will be a zoo with the 3 of us chasing the kids and the dogs while the guys have to sit in their offices lol. Better loud and noisy with laughter and things to look back on then dull and quiet with no memories to share later! Today is a good day!

Here he is my little Bailey Bird of Sunshine Valley....get it Bran?

Finding a new name for my blog

Well we got home from the clinic on Wed the 4th after driving straight through, I will never do that again it was insane! So the outcome of 11 days is that I'm having seizures they aren't sure what kind because I have the pacemaker in they couldn't do the MRI. So finally I have a diagnoses! The place is beautiful they believe in healing the mind body and soul, so they have the most beautiful artwork all over the clinic.

These are blown glass globes hanging from the ceiling they are just unbelievable to see the intricate work put into them.
These were all carved out of brass.

Then there were the times Nicole and Keith were bored to death while I was in being tested for hours at a time and they just took random pictures.

And of course we had to go see the Mall of America but of course I was to tired to even ride around the mall and Keith and Nicole were afraid of getting lost in it so we ended up driving there just to see the outside! lol Typical for us!

So now I'm home and my doctor's here don't agree with what the doctor's at the Mayo Clinic said because it means they misdiagnosed me having a mini stroke in 2005 so they don't want to give me the medicine for the seizures without further testing. So back to the hospital I go for a three day EEG while being taped so they can catch me actually passing out having a seizure. Can we say ready to knock someones head off! In the mean time I'm missing time with Bella and Bran and Louie when they came to visit because I slept through most of the weekend and I feel totally guilty about it so sorry Bran! The kids thought I'd be better when I came home and I'm still falling over so I feel like I let them down.

So back to my title I think it should be living life with the unknown. What do you think?

It's now Sunday night

I saw the Cardiologist and it's def. not my heart! So that finally clears up the heart issue once and for all. They ran a bunch of test and said other than they fact that I need the pacemaker to keep my heart beating well, so we can finally rule out the heart once and for all. We spent the whole weekend mostly stuck in the hotel room because Rochester is the mayo Clinic there isn't much to do. We saw the mall of America I guess unless you go inside it doesn't have the same effect. Tomorrow is the big day I see the Autonomic Specialist. So wish me luck and I'll let you know how it goes. Keep me in your prayers.